she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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