her vagine was all disorganized.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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