i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize