Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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