he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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