she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
