I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
