nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ttyl tear gas
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
