This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When are your genitals available?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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