I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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