you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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