Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
