They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it because I queefed?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize