it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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