At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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