Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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