I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize