I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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