his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
