Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
