I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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