I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
