I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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