omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am naked and annoyed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
