The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
