I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
