No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
