I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize