five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
