Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Say something about gay babies.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
