party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
