it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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