i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
