I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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