I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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