More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
