Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
