My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
