I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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