WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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