Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
