NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
