what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize