who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
