I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
