Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
God, I missed his penis.
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