i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
accomplished twins. life is a go
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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