just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
