i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize