He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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