but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
