names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
