i think my mom watched the whole time
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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