omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
