Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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