How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So vagazzling was a success
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
