you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
