I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize