glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
