two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize