Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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