I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
