I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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